“Mom, I would prefer not to sign up for weekend dance or swimming classes during the school year,” said my granddaughter, Fiona, to my daughter last summer. She was six years old and about to start first grade. Fiona loves to swim all summer long and dance during her school day. She is full of energy and fun but felt stressed by her Kindergarten go-go-go weekend and after-school schedule. If you indulge this proud grandmother, I admire that Fiona recognizes what works and doesn’t for her and has the confidence to express her needs.
Before first grade began, Fiona figured out that a too-rushed life doesn’t feel good. As her 72-year-old grandmother, I wish I could say the same. I retired two and half years ago from a satisfying forty-year career as a psychologist in private practice. I loved my work but was eager to explore a new pathway. I enrolled at Johns Hopkins University to pursue a master’s degree in writing. My excellent writing instructors and young classmates filled my life with joy. Writing ever since has been as rewarding as my clinical practice was.
So what’s wrong, you might ask? The answer: Writing is not all I do. I joined new groups and added second walks to my daily walking routine. I help revise essays for others, participate in a second writing group, and enjoy time with lovely Fiona and her Mom and Dad. Despite relishing all the people and activities that fill my life, I feel rushed and stressed. I also feel silly and spoiled, complaining about my too-packed life.
It turns out I’m part of a trend of too much busyness for Americans. New terms such as “time poverty” have arisen to describe jam-packed lives. Routinely, people say, “I don’t have a minute to myself.” This is especially true of full-time working parents with school-aged children. An analysis of holiday letters shows that “references to ‘crazy schedules’ have risen dramatically since the 1960s,” according to the Harvard Business Review. Another study shows that “the percentage of employed Americans reporting they ‘never have enough time’ has risen dramatically.
Myriad reasons explain this trend: 1) Busyness has become a status symbol. 2) People have an aversion to idleness. 3) Kids’ sports and other afterschool activities mushroomed to occupy many days of the week from just one or two in the past. 4) The global work world fills twenty-four hours of the day. 5) More people telework and often work longer hours than many commuters do.
Remedies: 1. Respect your body’s rhythms: “Two hours of intense work, when you’re most focused and refreshed, are more worthwhile than six when you feel depleted,” according to The Guardian.
2. Learn to say “No.” Pause before reflexively agreeing to extra work, an extra carpool, or any added commitment.
3. Limit your to-do list to five items.
4. Stop busy-bragging. Share your tips on living a less rushed life with The Westfield Leader and Union County HAWK by writing “Gratitude” in the subject line and emailing editor@goleader.com or pattisteckler@gmail.com.
