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Opinions
By PATRICIA STECKLER, Ph.D. on
May 23, 2024
Gratitude for Gathering Together

Zigbone Farm sits in a valley, nestled inside a verdant dip where sheep graze, donkeys bray, and contented cows moo, making farmland music. Last month, eight of us writers gathered at this one-hundredacre oasis in Western Maryland. We stayed in the original farmhouse insulated with strawbales that breathe, warm, and cool as the seasons change. We were a group of strangers, awkward yet eager to connect, share meals along a communal table, and dig deep into the craft of writing.

Little did we know we were an endangered species: a group sharing space, time, and togetherness.Americans are no longer gathering as they had. This is not a pandemic-induced change. According to researchers who study group behavior, this decline in person-to-person gettogethers began in the 1970s. In his 2000 bo”ok “Bowling Alone,” Robert Putnam decried a troubling trend: Americans, historically the world’s most avid joiners, began to bowl alone, not in leagues, read alone, not in book groups, and socialize far less than before.

Since Mr. Putnam first reported this troubling trend, socializing, in general, has fallen further, most markedly among teens. The average hours of face-to-face time among 15 to 19-year-olds dropped by 45 percent, and adults’ time together has also dipped. This is unprecedented in American history, according to data that track these trends.

So why does this matter, you might ask? More alone time is not inherently harmful, and if going solo worked well, this change in pattern might be noteworthy but not significant. However, the fallout from diminished in-person time coupled with the increase of texting, social media, and YouTubing has produced a catastrophic rise in anxiety, depression, and suicidality. “Americans are more pessimistic than ever, and teenage depression and hopelessness are setting new records,” according to an article in The Atlantic.

Back at the farm, we climbed together to view the eclipse from an upper pasture. We sat along a logmade bench, donned our eclipse glasses, and looked skyward. We yelped and raised our arms in celebration while oohing and aahing as Nature showed off one of her best tricks, a slideshow of dark and light, of sun-lit crescents that grew and shrank before our avidly watchful eyes.

Sharing this celestial display as a group was joyful! Our social anxiety jitters and worries about whether we’d be liked and whether our writing would meet group expectations fell away. We were moon and sun, young and old, all shapes and colors, fiction and nonfiction writers. Most of all, we were one. All human and vulnerable, newly embraced by the community we’d formed.

The warmth and energy emanating from people when they gather together raises moods, enlivens spirits, and lowers blood pressure and cortisol, a stress hormone.

Communities like ours offer abundant opportunities to meet and engage with others: Religious organizations, meet-up groups, walkers and hikers, knitters, book groups, library events, and volunteering.

Just show up. You’ll feel better! Tell us about the groups that matter to you with The Westfield Leader and Union County HAWK by writing “Gratitude” in the subject line and emailing editor@goleader.com or pattisteckler@gmail.com

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