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The Times of Scotch Plains-Fanwood

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Arts & Entertainment

POPCORN ™

One Popcorn, Poor • Two Popcorns, Fair • Three Popcorns, Good • Four Popcorns, Excellent

By Michael S. Goldberger

The show got moved around a bit, only making matters worse. I am ashamed to admit that I have forgotten about the time slot switch and kick myself the next day when I realize I missed it. I am, however, relieved that the show has been picked up for another season by the network.

I am not, however, thrilled with the explanation for the pickup. The reason given? Her hair is growing in and that means the ratings will pick up.

If all we are interested in is the length of Felicity’s hair when we watch the show, how shallow are we? Doesn’t the storyline hold enough substance that we should be concerned with someone’s decision to get a haircut? Sending Keri Russell the message that she had better grow in that hair or her show will be getting the ax is atrocious.

Instead of the message to Felicity that she should grow hair, her audience should just grow up.

The Day the Earth Stood Still.

His other work, One of Those Days, was more experimental in its nature, with “one frozen image dissolving into another image with the final image shot in video.”

Mr. Halverston explained that

One of Those Days was a multiimage project assigned to him while attending college in New Jersey. Such a film required still photography, 16 millimeter film, video and multitrack audio with different tracks such as sound effects and voiceovers.

In the Cityvisions competition, Mr. Halverston hopes to capture the categories of “Best Cinematography” and “Best Fiction Film.” Competing against filmmakers who have entered 70minute projects to the contest, Mr. Halverston is confident that his 20minute production will make a firm impression.

He explained, “Making a low budget film is immensely expensive,” adding that the filmmaker must balance getting across his/ her message in a visually appealing way that is also affordable.

Juggling uncertain weather conditions and last minute changes requires a certain measure of flexibility and patience, all of which Mr. Halverston demonstrated that he possessed during the shooting.

Looking forward, he would like to produce more feature films and send some of them for consideration to the Cannes and Sundance Film Festivals.

Although he has had his brushes of fame with actors such as Billy Bob Thorton, Mr. Halverston mused that he would

MAKING A SCENE... Paula Ospina, left, and Jarod Gibson perform a gripping scene in Christopher J. Halverston’s 20minute film, “Back in the Day” in the streets of New York City. Mr. Halverston is a Fanwood resident.

Shane Tourtellotte Nominated For Science Fiction Award

WESTFIELD – Shane Tourtellotte, a longtime resident of Westfield, was nominated recently for the John W. Campbell Award as the best new writer in the science fiction field.

Mr. Tourtellotte’s first story, “Mortal Instruments,” was printed in the February 1998 issue of Analog, a science fiction magazine. His work has appeared in Analog nine more times since then, and his 11 th story there, “The Hanoi Tree,” will run in the July/ August issue which will be on the bookshelves in June.

The writer also has a story in the current issue of Artemis magazine entitled, “High and Away,” about the origin of a baseball league on the Moon.

A novel based on two of his published novellas is making the rounds with publishers, according to Mr. Tourtellotte who is currently research ing an alternate history novel about

the end of World War II. The John W. Campbell Award is given every year to the best writer of two years’ experience or less in the field of science fiction and fantasy. It has been named for John W. Campbell, a science fiction author who, in his decades as editor of

Astounding (the original name of

Analog), who influenced the work of other authors.

Nominations for the Campbell Award are made by members of the World Science Fiction Convention, held annually. This year’s convention will be held in Chicago from the end of August to the beginning of September. The award ceremony will take place on September 2.

For more information on Mr. Tourtellotte’s literary works, please visit http:// www/ webspan. net/˜ smt.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 24

Christopher Halverston Calling AllLocal Laureates

The Arts & Entertainment Editor is looking for a few good poets. If you would like to see your poetry considered for publication in a new section called “Local Laureates,” please send to: Michelle H. LePoidevin, P. O. Box 250, 50 Elm St., Westfield, 07091 or em a i l : michelle@ goleader. com. No simultaneous submissions to other poetry journals or publications will be considered.

like to work with Dustin Hoffman, Leonardo DiCaprio and Heather Graham. He also noted his great admiration for directors Stephen Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Quinten Tarantino and Paul Thomas Anderson.

However, today, he will be keeping his fingers crossed and his hopes high for prize recognition by Cityvisions. He intends to keep us posted.

(908) 233-2331 • bravocenter@westfieldnj.com

Early Registration 20% Discount

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 24

Editorial

MILLBURN -Paper Mill Playhouse in Millburn will host a starstudded wine tasting event on Sunday, June 4, at 5: 30 p. m. in the F. M. Kirby Carriage House.

Paper Mill stars Christiane Noll, Brandon Jovanovich, Eddie Bracken and John Davidson, along with Executive Producer Angelo Del Rossi and Associate Producer Roy Miller, will be in attendance.

Wine specialist Jeffrey Sapara of Fedway Associates, Inc. of New Jersey will conduct the tasting, which will feature a new breed of California stars, as well as an accompaniment of cheeses.

Following the tasting, guests will be invited to see a technical rehearsal of Paper Mill’s upcoming, brand new production of the Broadway hit, Pippin,

starring Jack Noseworthy and Charlotte Rae, as well as Jim Newman.

Select bottles of the featured wines, as well as some surprise vintages, will be raffled off during the evening’s events.

The cost of the evening is $35 per person. All proceeds benefit the Paper Mill Playhouse Guild.

For more information, please call Bonnie Guyre at (973) 3793636, Extension No. 2946.

Sample Wines At Paper Mill

On June 4

Screwed

No Twists, Turns or Laughs 0 popcorns

Hurry up if you want to see the worst movie of the year! Soon to vanish from your multiplex screen, perhaps even before this review appears in The Westfield Leader and The Times of Scotch PlainsFanwood!

Screwed snuck into town without benefit of critics’ previews. That’s so as not to hurt its opening weekend chances. Figure it to skedaddle in the middle of the night like some carnival grifter after he’s scooped up some easy pickings.

So act fast and slip into a theater showing this movie if you’re either a masochist, a census taker in pursuit of masochists or an assassin looking to ditch the Secret Service. Screwed is also recommended for depressives looking to get in out of the nice spring weather.

Come to think of it, this might even be the worst picture of the decade.

But as it’s going to be a long century, we’ll leave it at that — for now. However, look to this column sometime in the 2050s for a reassessment.

In the meantime, it behooves those humanitarian cineastes among us to keep friends and family from succumbing to ads for this mess of a movie, and to then continue the vigil when the VCR version surreptitiously slithers into the video store. At that point bumper stickers may be necessary: “Friends Don’t Let Friends Get

Screwed.” Only so that we may prepare for the crusade, a review is in order.

A very poor man’s (we’re talking destitute here) Dumb and Dumber, Screwed is much less than the sum of its parts. It proves that everything can indeed go wrong if you gather enough talent and do absolutely nothing right with it. For starters, there’s the heretofore successful writing team of Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski (Ed

fried chicken joint, David Chappelle as the incredulous pal issues the film’s only funny line: “Huh? People don’t fire their slaves.”

They plot revenge. A dognapping scheme. They’ll ask for a million dollars.

Naturally, the plan goes awry. And when the Pomeranian finds his way back to Mrs. Krock before she even knows he’s gone, the old gal figures the ransom note she received is referring to Willard. So of course she refuses to pay. She is supported by Chip, her corporate guru and righthand man, played by everyone’s favorite T. V. dry cleaner, Sherman Hemsley.

Eventually, public opinion and sinking profits alter her sangfroid stand. Enters Daniel Benzali, struggling against type as the bumbling detective assigned to the case. You know him as the sleazy but brilliant, baldheaded attorney who defended the connected guys on “NYPD Blue.” An actor of his stature appearing in such slop demands an investigation of its own. And equally confounding is the presence of Danny DeVito as the coroner who Willard and Rusty frantically enlist when their continuously skewed plans require a corpse.

A hideous cross between the sorcerer’s apprentice and Renfield, Dracula’s unsavory goon, blooddrenched Grover is literally up to his elbows in cadavers. Neither camp nor clever, DeVito’s unfunny attempt at ghoulishness is in pathetically bad taste.

The lead performances fair no better. Expanding on his bit part as a slacker/ hangeron in Billy Madison,

Mr. Macdonald makes a none too interesting dolt. His weakkneed impression of an imbecile sets movie morons back several decades. And the same goes for Mr. Chappelle as his coconspirator and partner in idiocy.

You wonder: Is this a new kind of comedy? One that isn’t funny? You rub your eyes in disbelief and look around the theater to make sure everyone else is witnessing the same thing. Is anybody laughing, or at least smiling?

It’s so bad that you’re distracted to thought. And just maybe it’s our builtin tolerance — that which makes us human. Because while watching this sort of disaster, there is the gnawing feeling that there just has to be a behindthescenes explanation. We want to graciously give Screwed

the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps someone owed someone a favor. Or maybe the boss’ son finally got his chance to produce.

Two things are for sure: whatever the excuse, it has to be a lot more entertaining than this; and you’d have to be nailed to the seat to sit through

Screwed again. * * * * *

Screwed, rated PG13, is a Universal Pictures release directed by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski and stars Norm Macdonald, Elaine Stritch and David Chappelle. Running time: 89 minutes. Wood, Man On The Moon) trying

to make like the collaborating Farrelly Brothers (There’s Something About Mary).

While the wouldbe auteurs are listed as both writer and director, a viewing of Screwed

would suggest that no one actually directed this anarchical hodgepodge. And what’s worse, it appears that while Alexander and Karaszewski were busy not directing this film, they also forgot to write a funny movie. To call what tries to pass for a screenplay a rehash of tired old ideas would be truly charitable.

Norm Macdonald stars (though tarnishes is the more accurate verb) as Willard Filmore, second generation chauffeur in the dastardly employ of pie baking baroness Mr. Krock (Elaine Stritch). He anguishes when the old hag refuses to buy him a new uniform after 17 years on the job. When he complains, the witch adds insult to injury by firing him.... on Christmas Eve no less.

Upon relating his tale of woe to best friend Rusty, proprietor of a

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News to: michelle@ goleader. com

by Fridays at 4 p. m. for consideration! AN ARTISTIC DISPLAY… Students and public alike visited the Westfield Public Schools sixteenth annual District Art Show May 16 18. Lourdes

Palacios, left, and Ercilin Aniceto accompany Erin Fox at the fifth grade display of 3D watercolor space creations. A sampling of artwork by students from kindergarten through twelfth grade in the town’s nine public schools was on display.